I've Been Thinking

This past month, especially these past couple days, I have been thinking about a lot of stuff. I'm pretty uncertain about a lot of things. I've been asking myself, "am I living it right?" like John Mayer once asked. I know my life is good, but I don't know if I'm living it like I should. There's stuff that I want to have, but I don't know if it's best for me in the long run. But what about carpe diem? Hamlet's tragic flaw of failing to act. I don't want to be a Hamlet. But patience is also important to master. However, there's a fine line between patience and waiting. Do I have patience or am I just waiting too long or too often? The whole career path that I will be forced to walk down soon is still unclear to me. That freaks me out. Not the starting a career part as much as the initial choosing of what I want to do as a profession. Also 'been thinking about what made/makes me happy, what I have and what's missing. Maybe I have all that I need right now. Maybe I need something else in my life. Everything seemed so different one year ago. I've been trying to weigh in on the pros & cons of the present and this time last year. It's weird thinking back and reflecting, but I find myself doing that a lot. Maybe I need to let go of some stuff or ideas. Maybe I already have and don't want to realize it. There's a lot of stuff to think about. So I'm truly hoping that my two and a half week getaway from Irvine will help sort some stuff out. I'm hoping to come back home refreshed and with a new perspective on things. I'll be surrounded by family, people who love me, and I hope that they will inspire something in me that will make me go "a-ha! I get it now." If I still feel the same way when I come back, then maybe I should look more into what's happening or not happening around me. This might not make any sense to anyone but me, but who cares?